I am so excited to have found dA and met so many cool people. I hope to continue here, and to continue meeting new friends as well as maintaining current ones
I'm grateful I've found a place I feel I can semi belong to, for in my physical reality there is no such place. My mind is so, so loud; I have no place to call mine at the moment, and that is sending me into flashbacks on its own.
I have a lot of art I want to share; I also would love to share my writings, too. If I could meet more like people I may be able to sink in to my life in this virtual space and escape the physical one more often.
But I can't upload as often as I'd like because my emotions drive me; being back in the same hellish, severely abusive and tiny place I've known for too long has a way of depressing me more than usual.
When I'm depressed I tend to sleep or hide; a habit I need to break. I am a self harmer, I have been since age 4, and no I am not saying it's cool or suggesting anyone join in. Just sharing my flaws and obstacles I face.
I also am struggling to get myself to start eating 'normal' again. I want to but it's hard when no one seems to care (very borderline thinking of me, I suppose). I self medicate and am feel absolutely broken yet the reasons I cannot speak of. Not the past cruelties nor the present day hauntings.
I don't want sympathy, attention, or anything like that. I just needed to say at least that much, in case anyone cares to hear or is interested in why I am not as consistent as I wish I could be; as I would be had I not came back to this hell.
If you have read this, I thank you with all of my heart. I appreciate any and all of you that have been so kind to me; please keep coming around. Right now I am struggling within my own mind I suppose, and will do the best I can. I will get better, if anyone is curious lol and be able to upload and such as often as I like and communicate as much as I like again. For a few weeks though I may post stuff but if I don't reply to you please do not think I am ignoring you or anything like that... Soon I will respond, for surely I won't be in this house much longer
Thank you again to those of you whom read and understand...